FOCUS
1/14/08
Mondays are hard. I almost want to take that back (like saying Mondays are hard contributes to making them hard). MONDAYS ARE GREAT! Today I want to get A LOT done. I don’t really like what I am writing right now, but I’ve committed to writing something for the blog everyday. The practise of writing. DAMN – (I wanted to write fuck and somehow edited myself). I don’t like editing myself. I’ll tell you why Mondays are hard, it’s because I work as freelancer and if I’m not working, like for example today, it is up to me to make my own schedule. I find it difficult to self motivate. Monday is always the same thing. I really have a pretty consistent pattern which in all honesty I would LOVE to break. I mean LOVE to break. Fridays are sort of these loose days. I call Friday, “my day Friday” – it’s usually the day I take it easy. I by no means deserve to take it easy because it’s not like I’ve accomplished so much Mon-Thurs, but Fridays Olive and I do Pet Therapy at St. Vincents and then take it easy. I always imagine the weekend will afford me the time to catch up on all the tasks I didn’t get done during the week. But I almost NEVER actually take care of all those things (and believe me the list is long, household tasks: long overdue putting up shelves, cleaning the closet, clutter clearing my office, career tasks: send out pictures and resumes, follow up with professional types and random tasks: returning phone calls, emails, taking down Christmas decorations, going to the gym etc. etc. and more etc. REALLY the list is LONG). I feel constantly behind the eight ball. Well the weekend rolls around and I have fun I don’t do ANY of those catching up things. This weekend Jon and I saw some amazing shows as part of The Public Theater’s Under the Radar Festival (undertheradarfestival.com). Some incredible food for thought. One show in particular “small metal objects” was really an extraordinary experience. And don’t get me wrong the weekends are filled with great event and time with Jon and Olive that I cherish. And I do my best to be in the moment and enjoy enjoy enjoy. And for the most part I do – I DO enjoy but there is that nagging of ALL THOSE THINGS I SHOULD HAVE DONE. Gosh “should” I know I know bad word, fuck bad. You see I’m really working on creating positivity in my world. Saying YES to the Universe! So I’m really conscience of the messages I am giving my self, “should” (who said?) “bad” (who said?). Anyway so Monday rolls around and I say ENOUGH – today I am going to get it together. And I tend to make some strides but it takes time and by Friday I’m off track again – though usually happy because whatever side tracked me seemed “worth it.” If I could stay focused for more than four days. Focus that might just be the goal of the day.
Mondays are hard. I almost want to take that back (like saying Mondays are hard contributes to making them hard). MONDAYS ARE GREAT! Today I want to get A LOT done. I don’t really like what I am writing right now, but I’ve committed to writing something for the blog everyday. The practise of writing. DAMN – (I wanted to write fuck and somehow edited myself). I don’t like editing myself. I’ll tell you why Mondays are hard, it’s because I work as freelancer and if I’m not working, like for example today, it is up to me to make my own schedule. I find it difficult to self motivate. Monday is always the same thing. I really have a pretty consistent pattern which in all honesty I would LOVE to break. I mean LOVE to break. Fridays are sort of these loose days. I call Friday, “my day Friday” – it’s usually the day I take it easy. I by no means deserve to take it easy because it’s not like I’ve accomplished so much Mon-Thurs, but Fridays Olive and I do Pet Therapy at St. Vincents and then take it easy. I always imagine the weekend will afford me the time to catch up on all the tasks I didn’t get done during the week. But I almost NEVER actually take care of all those things (and believe me the list is long, household tasks: long overdue putting up shelves, cleaning the closet, clutter clearing my office, career tasks: send out pictures and resumes, follow up with professional types and random tasks: returning phone calls, emails, taking down Christmas decorations, going to the gym etc. etc. and more etc. REALLY the list is LONG). I feel constantly behind the eight ball. Well the weekend rolls around and I have fun I don’t do ANY of those catching up things. This weekend Jon and I saw some amazing shows as part of The Public Theater’s Under the Radar Festival (undertheradarfestival.com). Some incredible food for thought. One show in particular “small metal objects” was really an extraordinary experience. And don’t get me wrong the weekends are filled with great event and time with Jon and Olive that I cherish. And I do my best to be in the moment and enjoy enjoy enjoy. And for the most part I do – I DO enjoy but there is that nagging of ALL THOSE THINGS I SHOULD HAVE DONE. Gosh “should” I know I know bad word, fuck bad. You see I’m really working on creating positivity in my world. Saying YES to the Universe! So I’m really conscience of the messages I am giving my self, “should” (who said?) “bad” (who said?). Anyway so Monday rolls around and I say ENOUGH – today I am going to get it together. And I tend to make some strides but it takes time and by Friday I’m off track again – though usually happy because whatever side tracked me seemed “worth it.” If I could stay focused for more than four days. Focus that might just be the goal of the day.
posted by Nadette! @ 6:57 AM
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